I stand at the entrance of this lonely house as the sinister silence haunts my soul. I see my children laughing, playing and running towards me but they disappear the moment I try to come close to them and stop them from falling. My heart starts pounding loudly and my eyes get filled with worry as I search the house, and turn it upside down, but my children are nowhere to be seen. I hear the sound of my wife calling me out from the backyard and I run to look for her, but when I reach the backyard there is not a soul to be seen. “This can’t be happening. First my children and now my wife too?” I think to myself. I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t. I just hate myself for not being there for them when they needed me and now, it’s just too late… they are all gone.
At this moment in life I feel like I am a terrible husband and the worst father ever. My life revolved only around my wife and my children and in order to protect them and keep a roof above our heads I had to work day and night which restricted me from getting much time to spend with the people I love and I can never forgive myself for that. I am deep in my thoughts when I hear the sound of my youngest daughter calling out to me “Daddy! Where are you?” I try to respond to her voice but the affliction that I fell in my soul was so great that I was unable to reply to my 7-year old daughter. In a while, I hear both my daughter’s hushed voices coming from their room so I follow it and go upstairs. My heart got heavier for life was playing a cruel game with me, because once again there was no one there. I felt like my life was slipping away from my hands with un-affirmative thoughts clouding my head making me go crazy. I went and sat on my daughter’s bed and screamed out loud for the pain just wouldn’t stop tormenting me.
Then suddenly the thought of death crossed my mind. I feel that the only way to end my pain is by killing myself so I run downstairs to the cellar to search for a rope to end my life. I feel that “Why should I live a life where the purpose of my existence is no longer with me?” In search for the rope, I look everywhere and then in a drawer I find a box. I open it and see a letter which has “For, Dad” written on it alongside with today’s date. I open the letter and see a small superman logo on it. Then I read further:
Happy Birthday! We love you. We know that you love us too but sometimes when the days get rough you have to work very late in the night which makes you tired and miss breakfast with us and that’s OK. We know that you’re doing all this for us so we just want you to know that you are the best dad ever and no matter what happens you will always be there to guide us and be our SuperDad! Thank you.
-Ava and Chloe
I re-read the letter over and over again. My eyes, which were once filled with anger and grief are now filled with love and affection the description of which cannot be justified by words. Tears stream down my face because I realized that these beautiful people that I have lost can’t ever be replaced. I flip the letter and see an elegant handwriting which I immediately recognize. I read it out loud:
Thank you for being the best husband ever! I want you to know that no obstacle in life is too big, you just have to believe in yourself and then you can achieve everything your heart desires. Happy Birthday!
My emotions are no longer in control, so I break down. I scream and shout at life for being so unjust. My heart is in pain but I close my eyes and thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful family that loved me and cared for me so dearly. Though my eyes are shut close, the tears that they hold just won’t stop flowing. I beg God for another chance to meet my family and my children so that I can tell them I love them so very much. I may not be able to turn back time, but I can change times for us as a family and do-over everything to show that I care for them dearly too.
As open my tear filled eyes, a bright light pierced deep into my eyes blinding my vision and as the light clears out, I see my beautiful wife right in front of me looking at me with all the love the world holds and I think is this what heaven looks like, did God answer my prayers and take me to where my family is?
To be continued…